Living with OCD is very different than knowing someone who has it or even living with someone who has it. While it is true that OCD has an effect on everyone around the person with it, there are things that people generally assume about OCD are wrong.
People with OCD know the thoughts they have are crazy. I find that a lot of people simply assume that someone with OCD must be completely out of it, and have no clue how ludicrous his or her behavior is. This is not true. People with OCD usually do know the thoughts they have are crazy; they are simply powerless to stop it. They know that washing their hands for twenty minutes is not going to make them any cleaner, but they cannot escape the thought that maybe they missed a spot or that maybe they didn't clean their hands good enough. They know that circling the parking lot fifteen times to make sure they didn't hit someone is silly, but they simply cannot stop thinking "what if?" They know switching the lights on and off several hundred times per day is nuts, but they simply cannot stop doing it because they feel that something bad may happen if they do not do it.
You probably don't have OCD. I hear the term OCD thrown around very loosely. It is common to hear someone say, "I am so OCD," or something along those lines all the time. It is actually a bit unfair to assume you know what OCD is like, because you have no idea what it is like to really live with OCD. Even thought the OCD Foundation estimates that one in 100 adults have OCD, you probably do not have it. So, you like your socks lined up just right in the drawers? You get mad if the laundry isn't separated correctly? You only eat Rice Krispies everyday, because that is what you like? When someone leaves a dirty towel on the floor, you go nuts? You sometimes worry that you left the stove on at home? These thing are normal, they do not mean you have OCD. Some people like things a certain way, and some people like things neat and orderly. That does not mean you have OCD. Now, if you are sitting at your desk at work and cannot stop thinking about whether those socks are in the drawer right, then it may be different. If the thought of not having Rice Krispies makes you want to hyperventilate and pass out, then it may be more than just a preference. If you are so worried about the stove that you leave the store just to go home and check (and then you check it again), then it may be more than just worrying. If you see something when you are out that looks like it may be blood and you become so overwhelmed that you run home to change your clothes and take a shower, because you may have touched the substance, then it may be more than a simple worry. This is not to say that you shouldn't get help if you think you have OCD. I think a lot of people go undiagnosed, so it is important to find a reputable counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist if you are having overly anxious thoughts and obsessions.
It is not all about cleanliness. I find that many people simply assume if you have OCD then you must wash your hands a million times a day, and you probably sanitize everything in your home so much that it resembles the inside of an operating room. There are actually many different types of OCD, and it can show different symptoms in each person. Some people are focused on cleanliness and do keep everything completely clean. Others are focused on contamination, and they may feel that the outside world (or even themselves) is contaminated. You may be surprised to find that some people with OCD do not live in a completely clean home, and there may be toys all over the house or piles of laundry on the floor. Some people are checkers, and they will constantly check things. This can range from the stove being on to circling the parking lot to make sure they didn't hit someone or something. Some people are more obsessive than compulsive, and they may not have any outward symptoms you can notice. Some people are obsessed with food, and may have difficulty eating certain things or eating at all. Some are obsessed with body image and others their hair. Hair pulling is actually common with people who have Trichotillomania, which can be a form of OCD. Some people obsess over death, religion or even have sexual thoughts.
They really can't just get over it. I have heard this before, "Just stop thinking that way." Well, it really is not that simple. There is no way to just stop thinking that way. The worry takes over the person's mind, and the only way that person can "get over it" is by acing out compulsions. It is a never-ending cycle, that revolves around each next obsession.
References:
How many people have OCD?. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.ocfoundation.org/prevalence.aspx
Phillipson, S., & Gibson, C. (n.d.). Trichotillomania. Retrieved from http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson8.php
Showing posts with label OCD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OCD. Show all posts
Friday, December 16, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
A Sleeping Baby Does NOT Always Wake to Eat
I am sure many new or expectant moms have heard the saying, "A sleeping baby will always wake to eat." I want to dispel this myth by relating my own experiences, and explaining how a new mom can determine if her baby is sleeping through feedings.
My third child was born in 2009. She arrived a few weeks early, although it was not early enough to be considered preterm. When we came home from hospital, she immediately fell into a routine, which mainly consisted of sleeping all the time and waking for only brief moments during certain times of the day. She was a very quiet baby and hardly every cried. This was very unusual for me, because my older two were not as laid back and quiet as she was. I had breastfed two babies, nursed through a pregnancy, and tandem nursed. I felt like a pro, and immediately worked on getting a good latch and starting our breastfeeding journey together.
As the days passed, she began to sleep more, and I began to fall apart. I have always had depression and anxiety, as well as some "quirks" or "obsessions" that could be related to OCD. However, during the postpartum period, my mental health issues become even worse. I have had PPOCD, and I will go into more detail about that in a future post. For the sake of this post, I will simply explain it by saying that my OCD was in control of my mind and body, and I was nowhere to be found. I obsessed over everything and anything. My world spiraled out of control, and unfortunately, my baby was affected by it (as were my other children).
So, back to the sleepy baby. She never woke to eat. She may have woken up once or twice a day to eat, but she would sleep nearly all day if I let her. I knew I needed to wake her more. I knew it was my job to make sure she was eating enough, but I failed at doing that. We started visiting the doctor and her weight steadily declined. Her diapers were scarce or full of dark urine and pink-colored crystals (see below). She was dehydrated, and they were ready to diagnose her as failure to thrive. She never cried. She never woke to eat. I was failing my daughter. I was failing to provide her with the nourishment she needed.
I was consumed by my irrational thoughts and feelings, and I had let her sleep through too many feedings. Sometimes, I would try to feed her and she would fall asleep in the middle of the feeding. I tried all the tips; taking a layer of clothes off, stroking her cheek, switching sides, etc. Nothing worked. I can admit, I did not put as much effort into as I should have. The time had come, I had to give her formula. During all of this time, it was like I was in a dream or a trance. Going through the motions, without even really being there. Family members stepped in and starting feeding her by bottle (as did I). She began to gain weight, and the doctors said she was doing much better.
She continued to sleep more than anything and still had to be woken for feedings. However, things did get better as she got older. Yet, to this day, she is still the only child that sleeps a solid 10 to 12 hours per night. I worked on my own issues and tried to get her back to the breast. At that point, she was about 3 months old, had nipple confusion, and had developed a preference for the bottle. I tried to pump, but it did not work well. Ultimately, she became a formula fed baby.
Babies do not always wake to eat, and for a mom who is also suffering from something like PPD or another type of postpartum mental health disorder, the result can be disastrous. I did not purposely neglect her; if she cried I would go to her. I tried to feed her, but I often let her sleep through the night, because I thought she would wake if she was really hungry. In the end, looking back, I do feel that in some ways I neglected my responsibilities to her. I feel like we missed out on a crucial stage of bonding. I have enjoyed a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with my other babies, and I did not have that with her. I could barely hold her at one point, and we missed out on that way of bonding, as well. I do not think having to switch to formula is the worst possible outcome, but I do feel that we missed out on something special.
I try not to worry too much over what happened, because my worries always turn into obsessions. I do feel guilty, because I did fail her. Now, I try to hug her and tell her I love her. I try to play with her and be there for her when she cries. I try to make up for the mistakes I made, even if I made those mistakes because I was not in the best frame of mind at the time.
So, how can a mom know if her baby is sleeping through feedings? Many moms probably won't need to worry, because some babies seem to nurse around the clock during those first few weeks. However, a sleeping baby does not always wake to eat, so moms should watch for a few important signs that their baby is not getting enough breast milk.
Signs to Look for
Weight gain: This is a big one, but not the only sign to look for. Breastfed babies should be measured on growth charts for breastfed babies, not general growth charts that many pediatricians use. If your baby continues to lose weight after your milk comes in (about 1 to 4 days after birth) then there may be a problem, such as sleeping through feedings or an improper latch. Babies usually regain their birth weight by two weeks after birth (but it may take another week). Breastfed babies usually gain about 5 to 7 ounces per week.
Diapers: This is the biggest clue for a breastfeeding mom to know if her baby is getting enough. Newborn babies should have 5 to 6 wet diapers per day and 3 - 4 dirty (stool) diapers per day. In the first few days of life, babies will excrete meconium, which will look black, then turn to green or brown. Babies who have 2 - 3 stool diapers per day should have very large stools, not just a small staining. Urine should be pale and odorless. Stool should be yellow by 5 days after birth. Stool diapers may become more infrequent as a baby gets older, and some babies only have a stool diaper once per week by 6 to 8 weeks of age.
Urate Crystals: I referenced pink-colored crystals in my post, which are actually urate crystals. Here is a picture of what it may look like. The baby's diaper may have pink or orange-colored crystals in it, which some parents may think looks like blood. It is caused by overconcentrated urine, and it will usually go away if milk intake in increased. Some parents may notice the crystals in the first few days after birth, but they should not be present once mom's milk comes in--if baby is getting enough.
Number of Feedings: On average, a breastfed baby will nurse anywhere from 8 to 12 times per day. Some babies are more efficient and some need to nurse for comfort, so this number may vary. However, there are signs to check to see if the baby is removing milk from the breast effectively.
Feeding Effectively: You should see your baby suck a few times, then swallow. You may be able to hear your baby swallow throughout the feeding. You may feel let down, which may may feel like a tingling sensation as your baby begins removing milk from the breast. It may take a few minutes into the feeding to feel let down. Your breast should feel lighter and softer after a feeding, but this may change once your baby is older and your milk supply has regulated (about 12 weeks after birth).
Your Baby: Is your baby alert and happy after a feeding? Is your baby meeting milestones? These are good clues that everything is OK, but they are not easy to see in a baby who is very sleepy.
Waking a Sleepy Baby
If your baby is not getting enough milk and sleeping through feedings, you will need to wake your baby to nurse. It is crucial to nurse often during the first few weeks, so your baby gets enough milk and for you to establish a good supply. Here are some tips for waking a sleepy baby.
If you are are concerned about your baby getting enough milk or sleeping through feedings, please contact a Lactation Consultant or Breastfeeding Counselor as soon as possible. So many pediatricians will suggest supplementing with formula to help the baby gain weight, which may or may not be necessary. Also, introducing artificial nipples and bottles too early can result in nipple confusion or nipple preference.
If you are feeling out of control, anxious, or depressed after your baby is born, there is no shame or guilt in reaching out for help. Do it as soon as possible, so you can start enjoying life with your new baby. Look for a counselor or therapist, ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist, find a support group, ask family and friends for help--do whatever it takes for you to get the help you need. You and your baby deserve it.
References (These sites have lots of valuable information):
Bonyata, Kelly. "Is baby getting enough milk?." Kellymom. N.p., 14 June 2011. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/enough-milk.html>.
Sears, . "Getting Enough Milk?: How to Tell." Ask Dr. Sears. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/faqs/getting-enough-milk-how-tell>.
Smith, Anne. "Waking a Sleepy Baby." Breastfeeding Basics. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/waking-a-sleepy-baby>.
*Disclaimer* I am not a medical professional. The information I share on this blog is based on my own experiences and through my own research. While I always try to provide accurate, factual information, you should still consult with a professional if you need medical or lactation advice.
My third child was born in 2009. She arrived a few weeks early, although it was not early enough to be considered preterm. When we came home from hospital, she immediately fell into a routine, which mainly consisted of sleeping all the time and waking for only brief moments during certain times of the day. She was a very quiet baby and hardly every cried. This was very unusual for me, because my older two were not as laid back and quiet as she was. I had breastfed two babies, nursed through a pregnancy, and tandem nursed. I felt like a pro, and immediately worked on getting a good latch and starting our breastfeeding journey together.
As the days passed, she began to sleep more, and I began to fall apart. I have always had depression and anxiety, as well as some "quirks" or "obsessions" that could be related to OCD. However, during the postpartum period, my mental health issues become even worse. I have had PPOCD, and I will go into more detail about that in a future post. For the sake of this post, I will simply explain it by saying that my OCD was in control of my mind and body, and I was nowhere to be found. I obsessed over everything and anything. My world spiraled out of control, and unfortunately, my baby was affected by it (as were my other children).
So, back to the sleepy baby. She never woke to eat. She may have woken up once or twice a day to eat, but she would sleep nearly all day if I let her. I knew I needed to wake her more. I knew it was my job to make sure she was eating enough, but I failed at doing that. We started visiting the doctor and her weight steadily declined. Her diapers were scarce or full of dark urine and pink-colored crystals (see below). She was dehydrated, and they were ready to diagnose her as failure to thrive. She never cried. She never woke to eat. I was failing my daughter. I was failing to provide her with the nourishment she needed.
I was consumed by my irrational thoughts and feelings, and I had let her sleep through too many feedings. Sometimes, I would try to feed her and she would fall asleep in the middle of the feeding. I tried all the tips; taking a layer of clothes off, stroking her cheek, switching sides, etc. Nothing worked. I can admit, I did not put as much effort into as I should have. The time had come, I had to give her formula. During all of this time, it was like I was in a dream or a trance. Going through the motions, without even really being there. Family members stepped in and starting feeding her by bottle (as did I). She began to gain weight, and the doctors said she was doing much better.
She continued to sleep more than anything and still had to be woken for feedings. However, things did get better as she got older. Yet, to this day, she is still the only child that sleeps a solid 10 to 12 hours per night. I worked on my own issues and tried to get her back to the breast. At that point, she was about 3 months old, had nipple confusion, and had developed a preference for the bottle. I tried to pump, but it did not work well. Ultimately, she became a formula fed baby.
Babies do not always wake to eat, and for a mom who is also suffering from something like PPD or another type of postpartum mental health disorder, the result can be disastrous. I did not purposely neglect her; if she cried I would go to her. I tried to feed her, but I often let her sleep through the night, because I thought she would wake if she was really hungry. In the end, looking back, I do feel that in some ways I neglected my responsibilities to her. I feel like we missed out on a crucial stage of bonding. I have enjoyed a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with my other babies, and I did not have that with her. I could barely hold her at one point, and we missed out on that way of bonding, as well. I do not think having to switch to formula is the worst possible outcome, but I do feel that we missed out on something special.
I try not to worry too much over what happened, because my worries always turn into obsessions. I do feel guilty, because I did fail her. Now, I try to hug her and tell her I love her. I try to play with her and be there for her when she cries. I try to make up for the mistakes I made, even if I made those mistakes because I was not in the best frame of mind at the time.
So, how can a mom know if her baby is sleeping through feedings? Many moms probably won't need to worry, because some babies seem to nurse around the clock during those first few weeks. However, a sleeping baby does not always wake to eat, so moms should watch for a few important signs that their baby is not getting enough breast milk.
Signs to Look for
Weight gain: This is a big one, but not the only sign to look for. Breastfed babies should be measured on growth charts for breastfed babies, not general growth charts that many pediatricians use. If your baby continues to lose weight after your milk comes in (about 1 to 4 days after birth) then there may be a problem, such as sleeping through feedings or an improper latch. Babies usually regain their birth weight by two weeks after birth (but it may take another week). Breastfed babies usually gain about 5 to 7 ounces per week.
Diapers: This is the biggest clue for a breastfeeding mom to know if her baby is getting enough. Newborn babies should have 5 to 6 wet diapers per day and 3 - 4 dirty (stool) diapers per day. In the first few days of life, babies will excrete meconium, which will look black, then turn to green or brown. Babies who have 2 - 3 stool diapers per day should have very large stools, not just a small staining. Urine should be pale and odorless. Stool should be yellow by 5 days after birth. Stool diapers may become more infrequent as a baby gets older, and some babies only have a stool diaper once per week by 6 to 8 weeks of age.
Urate Crystals: I referenced pink-colored crystals in my post, which are actually urate crystals. Here is a picture of what it may look like. The baby's diaper may have pink or orange-colored crystals in it, which some parents may think looks like blood. It is caused by overconcentrated urine, and it will usually go away if milk intake in increased. Some parents may notice the crystals in the first few days after birth, but they should not be present once mom's milk comes in--if baby is getting enough.
Number of Feedings: On average, a breastfed baby will nurse anywhere from 8 to 12 times per day. Some babies are more efficient and some need to nurse for comfort, so this number may vary. However, there are signs to check to see if the baby is removing milk from the breast effectively.
Feeding Effectively: You should see your baby suck a few times, then swallow. You may be able to hear your baby swallow throughout the feeding. You may feel let down, which may may feel like a tingling sensation as your baby begins removing milk from the breast. It may take a few minutes into the feeding to feel let down. Your breast should feel lighter and softer after a feeding, but this may change once your baby is older and your milk supply has regulated (about 12 weeks after birth).
Your Baby: Is your baby alert and happy after a feeding? Is your baby meeting milestones? These are good clues that everything is OK, but they are not easy to see in a baby who is very sleepy.
Waking a Sleepy Baby
If your baby is not getting enough milk and sleeping through feedings, you will need to wake your baby to nurse. It is crucial to nurse often during the first few weeks, so your baby gets enough milk and for you to establish a good supply. Here are some tips for waking a sleepy baby.
- Remove a layer of baby's clothing.
- Keep your baby close to you, and try lots of skin to skin contact.
- Offer the breast every two hours.
- Stroke your baby's cheek, rub his or her back, or tickle his or her foot to encourage your baby to wake up.
- If your baby falls asleep at the breast, try switching sides during the feeding.
- Change your baby's diaper before the feeding.
- Dab a cool washcloth on your baby's forehead.
- Give your baby a bath before the feeding.
- Sing and talk to your baby during the feeding. Make eye contact too.
- Encourage let down by hand expressing or using a pump right before nursing, that way your baby will instantly get milk and may take in more.
If you are are concerned about your baby getting enough milk or sleeping through feedings, please contact a Lactation Consultant or Breastfeeding Counselor as soon as possible. So many pediatricians will suggest supplementing with formula to help the baby gain weight, which may or may not be necessary. Also, introducing artificial nipples and bottles too early can result in nipple confusion or nipple preference.
If you are feeling out of control, anxious, or depressed after your baby is born, there is no shame or guilt in reaching out for help. Do it as soon as possible, so you can start enjoying life with your new baby. Look for a counselor or therapist, ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist, find a support group, ask family and friends for help--do whatever it takes for you to get the help you need. You and your baby deserve it.
References (These sites have lots of valuable information):
Bonyata, Kelly. "Is baby getting enough milk?." Kellymom. N.p., 14 June 2011. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/enough-milk.html>.
Sears, . "Getting Enough Milk?: How to Tell." Ask Dr. Sears. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/faqs/getting-enough-milk-how-tell>.
Smith, Anne. "Waking a Sleepy Baby." Breastfeeding Basics. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/waking-a-sleepy-baby>.
*Disclaimer* I am not a medical professional. The information I share on this blog is based on my own experiences and through my own research. While I always try to provide accurate, factual information, you should still consult with a professional if you need medical or lactation advice.
Friday, November 18, 2011
When the Worry Takes Over
I think it is natural for some people to worry over things, such as making it to work on time or if your child will have a good day at school. Some people who are facing daily struggles or health issues have even bigger worries, not knowing how long they or a loved one may live.
As a sufferer of OCD and anxiety, I can say that I have faced too many times when the worry seems to take over my entire life. When a person with OCD becomes worried, that worry usually turns into an obsession. It is like a thick cloud of fog begins to cloud that person's mind, and all that person can think about is the specific thing he or she is worrying over. This usually results (but not always) in the person performing compulsive acts to rid themselves of the unwanted thoughts. Some people with OCD worry that they may hit someone with their car, others worry about death or contamination.
I have come a long way in my battle with OCD, and I have stayed on top of my worry for quite some time. However, just today, I found myself battling the worry once again. I helped my son put on his coat and backpack, then walked him to the door (his dad was going to drive him to the bus stop). As he walked out the door I said, "I love you. Have a good day at school." He stopped and turned, and replied, "I love you with all my heart." Moments like this are so rare for me, because my son has his own mental health issues and often does not express love. I cherish these moments. Yet, as he walked away all I could feel was a deep feeling of worry brewing inside of me. What if something happened to him? What if I never heard those sweet words again? What if that was the last thing I will ever hear my son say?
Worry persists in my mind, engulfing my entire thought process until my mind can only focus on that particular worry. While it is normal to have brief moments of feeling worried, my anxiety turns obsessive and begins to control me. I had to walk back in the house, take a deep breath, and re-channel my energy onto something else. I hope I will always remember the smile on my son's face and the sound of his young voice when he spoke those words to me. However, I do not want those sweet memories being overshadowed with my obsession and constant anxiety.
In life, things happen, both good and bad. People are dealt unimaginable blows when they face tragedies and illnesses. As a constant worrier, I know that you cannot let these thoughts consume your life--always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You miss out on too much when the worry takes over, and you miss out on the simple, special things that happen in everyday life. You may not pursue goals or you may give up on new projects, because you always worry that you will fail. You may never try anything new or avoid going on a trip, because you worry over what terrible thing may happen.
I have been there, and the worry still lives within me, and makes itself known every once and a while. However, I am trying to overcome it every day. I can no longer let these feelings of worry take over my life. I have come to far. I put my faith in God, myself, and my family that I can make it through each day, and fully experience my life--without living in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Living like that is not really living at all.
As a sufferer of OCD and anxiety, I can say that I have faced too many times when the worry seems to take over my entire life. When a person with OCD becomes worried, that worry usually turns into an obsession. It is like a thick cloud of fog begins to cloud that person's mind, and all that person can think about is the specific thing he or she is worrying over. This usually results (but not always) in the person performing compulsive acts to rid themselves of the unwanted thoughts. Some people with OCD worry that they may hit someone with their car, others worry about death or contamination.
I have come a long way in my battle with OCD, and I have stayed on top of my worry for quite some time. However, just today, I found myself battling the worry once again. I helped my son put on his coat and backpack, then walked him to the door (his dad was going to drive him to the bus stop). As he walked out the door I said, "I love you. Have a good day at school." He stopped and turned, and replied, "I love you with all my heart." Moments like this are so rare for me, because my son has his own mental health issues and often does not express love. I cherish these moments. Yet, as he walked away all I could feel was a deep feeling of worry brewing inside of me. What if something happened to him? What if I never heard those sweet words again? What if that was the last thing I will ever hear my son say?
Worry persists in my mind, engulfing my entire thought process until my mind can only focus on that particular worry. While it is normal to have brief moments of feeling worried, my anxiety turns obsessive and begins to control me. I had to walk back in the house, take a deep breath, and re-channel my energy onto something else. I hope I will always remember the smile on my son's face and the sound of his young voice when he spoke those words to me. However, I do not want those sweet memories being overshadowed with my obsession and constant anxiety.
In life, things happen, both good and bad. People are dealt unimaginable blows when they face tragedies and illnesses. As a constant worrier, I know that you cannot let these thoughts consume your life--always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You miss out on too much when the worry takes over, and you miss out on the simple, special things that happen in everyday life. You may not pursue goals or you may give up on new projects, because you always worry that you will fail. You may never try anything new or avoid going on a trip, because you worry over what terrible thing may happen.
I have been there, and the worry still lives within me, and makes itself known every once and a while. However, I am trying to overcome it every day. I can no longer let these feelings of worry take over my life. I have come to far. I put my faith in God, myself, and my family that I can make it through each day, and fully experience my life--without living in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Living like that is not really living at all.
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