It isn't often that I don't have some type of comeback or reply to something my children say to me. I often listen to protests and whines, as they try to explain why they can't clean their room, take a shower, or do any chores. I also hear plenty of remarks and comments about why they should be allowed to do something they want.
Showing posts with label my children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my children. Show all posts
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Worrying When You're a Mom
Last week I went to the bus stop to pick up my son, and he got in the car (without a coat on). After trying to convince him it was cold out and he should be wearing a coat, I tried asking him how his day was. I received the usual response, which is usually something as descriptive as "OK" or "Fine." Some days I am told "Leave me alone." or "Stop asking me all these questions."
My son has had some trouble recently, which he won't really discuss with me. I found out from another parent that he was being teased on the bus, which is apparently how all of the older children treat the younger ones. Apparently he had the audacity to try and sit near the back, which is only a privilege for the older kids that have been deemed "cool." Yes, I went to school once. Yes, I know a lot of older, "cool" kids sit in the back. Yet, I do not think that just because my son wanted to sit in the back one day that he should be continuously teased and told he isn't allowed to sit with anyone (apparently he tried to sit with another child after this and no one would sit him). This is unacceptable to me, and not just because he is my son. I went through some pretty intense bullying as a child, and I never want to hear that my children are experiencing the same type of bullying or teasing. I was almost ready to pull him off the bus, because I think it is ridiculous for that type of behavior to continue and I don't want him upset over it either.
He has started sitting with another boy around his age, and things have seemed OK. I still wanted to check, because I worry, as parents usually do. This is how the conversation unfolded:
Me: "How was the bus ride?"
Son: "Fine."
Me" "Was anyone bothering you on the bus today?"
Son: "No."
Me: "You can tell me if someone was bothering you."
Son: "I said it was fine! Why do you keep asking me all these questions?"
Me: "Honey, I am just worried about you and want to make sure no one is bothering you or teasing you."
Son: "Well, the only thing actually bothering me right now is YOU, and all your questions."
OK, point taken on that one. I decided to drop the conversation after that.
Yet, all I can do is worry about him and the effect this has on him. My son is unique and special, he has several behavioral/emotional issues that I will discuss more in the future. He can be incredibly sweet, but also incredibly sad and even very angry, which usually results in destruction and violence. He uses up all of his strength just to make it through each day at school. He tries to please people, which is actually kind of manipulative (he lies often). Yet, he still tries to do his best in school, as much as he can. He really holds himself together, which has amazed me this year. So, once he comes home, he is finally able to really be himself and kind of let loose all those tensions and things that bothered him that day. This usually results in a very chaotic house after he comes home, but I know he is trying so hard to "keep it together" all day.
He is not open about what happens at school, but I can see the way he acts at home and know when something happened that bothered him. I know I will not let my son have to deal with bullying every day, and if it results in me removing him from the bus, then that is what I have to do.
Have you ever dealt with your child being bullied? Did your child talk to you about it? What did you do (call the school, call the parents, remove your child from the situation, talk to your child about bullying and standing up for himself or herself)?
My son has had some trouble recently, which he won't really discuss with me. I found out from another parent that he was being teased on the bus, which is apparently how all of the older children treat the younger ones. Apparently he had the audacity to try and sit near the back, which is only a privilege for the older kids that have been deemed "cool." Yes, I went to school once. Yes, I know a lot of older, "cool" kids sit in the back. Yet, I do not think that just because my son wanted to sit in the back one day that he should be continuously teased and told he isn't allowed to sit with anyone (apparently he tried to sit with another child after this and no one would sit him). This is unacceptable to me, and not just because he is my son. I went through some pretty intense bullying as a child, and I never want to hear that my children are experiencing the same type of bullying or teasing. I was almost ready to pull him off the bus, because I think it is ridiculous for that type of behavior to continue and I don't want him upset over it either.
He has started sitting with another boy around his age, and things have seemed OK. I still wanted to check, because I worry, as parents usually do. This is how the conversation unfolded:
Me: "How was the bus ride?"
Son: "Fine."
Me" "Was anyone bothering you on the bus today?"
Son: "No."
Me: "You can tell me if someone was bothering you."
Son: "I said it was fine! Why do you keep asking me all these questions?"
Me: "Honey, I am just worried about you and want to make sure no one is bothering you or teasing you."
Son: "Well, the only thing actually bothering me right now is YOU, and all your questions."
OK, point taken on that one. I decided to drop the conversation after that.
Yet, all I can do is worry about him and the effect this has on him. My son is unique and special, he has several behavioral/emotional issues that I will discuss more in the future. He can be incredibly sweet, but also incredibly sad and even very angry, which usually results in destruction and violence. He uses up all of his strength just to make it through each day at school. He tries to please people, which is actually kind of manipulative (he lies often). Yet, he still tries to do his best in school, as much as he can. He really holds himself together, which has amazed me this year. So, once he comes home, he is finally able to really be himself and kind of let loose all those tensions and things that bothered him that day. This usually results in a very chaotic house after he comes home, but I know he is trying so hard to "keep it together" all day.
He is not open about what happens at school, but I can see the way he acts at home and know when something happened that bothered him. I know I will not let my son have to deal with bullying every day, and if it results in me removing him from the bus, then that is what I have to do.
Have you ever dealt with your child being bullied? Did your child talk to you about it? What did you do (call the school, call the parents, remove your child from the situation, talk to your child about bullying and standing up for himself or herself)?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Bedtime Routine
The bedtime routine is always a long drawn out process here. Tonight was no exception. We start out by playing a game together, which sometimes turns into two games and results in some type of altercation. We then get drinks of water and head upstairs, where we read a book, say prayers, give hugs, and say good night.
The book part is always entertaining. I had no idea that children could stretch a book with a few pages to last for half an hour. The book part usually goes something like this:
Me: Snowmen at Christmasti---
Ayden: Hey mommy, guess how many ice cubes are in my cup!"
Me: Um five, so Snowmen at----
Regan: Mommy did you know owls can live for 14 days?
Me: Honey they probably live longer than that. OK, so the Snowmen---
Ayden: Mommy no you were wrong, it's seven.
Me: OK, Snowmen----
Ayden: Mommy when you went to my school, what classroom did you got to?
Me: I didn't go to your school, I lived somewhere else.
Ayden: Well when will I go there?
Me: You won't, we don't live in that area now.
Ayden: Well how do I get there? Where is it?
Me: It's too far away to go now, let's get back to the book.
Ayden and Regan: OK
Me: The snowmen were---
Ayden: Mommy why is that snowman doing that? Hey look a sight word from class! I know that word!
Me:Yes, Ayden good job, you are doing great. OK, The snowmen were---
Regan: Mommy Mommy!
Me: What Regan?
Regan: Ummmmm, I forget.
And there are the questions to which I have no immediate answer, such as "Mommy why is the sun so yellow?" "Why does the sky look blue?" "Are butterflies ticklish?"
And then there are ones that lead to even more questions, "Mommy what happens when snowmen melt?" "Well what is evaporation?" "Well isn't it sad that the snowmen melt and are gone forever?" "Mommy if the snowmen have gifts at Christmas (this was in the book we read) where do they hide them?"
We finally will make it through the book, only after we stop to go through a few repeats of this same scenario. Then we say our prayers. My daughters always pray, and my oldest daughter sometimes asks me very sweetly if she can sit and talk to God after we pray, of course I always say yes. My son has difficulty during this time. I pray with him, tell them stories about Jesus and the Bible, and I tell them about God. Yet my son has trouble accepting things he cannot see.My son has some behavioral/emotional health issues, so he questions everything and anything, several hundred times.
After praying, it sometimes leads to talks about Heaven and death. My son started asking questions about death and where you go, even though we talked about this before (he needs a lot of reassurance and always thinks of new questions to ask). Talks like this usually get my daughter upset, and she starts saying, "Mommy I don't want you to die." "Mommy I love you, please don't die." "Mommy when are you going to die?"
I do think the questions are important, and I just keep trying to answer them the best way I can. I hope to be able to give my son faith, even if he has a hard time understanding it now.
After we say our prayers, I love yous, and good nights, I finally leave the room. Of course, my youngest daughter usually sneaks downstairs several times for a drink, a hug, or with some question, which usually takes us a while to understand because she does not talk very well yet.
For my son, we have to check in closets and inside his bed tent. Then he usually has several very important things to tell us, such as "I have gym tomorrow. Don't forget my gym shoes. Do you know what games we play at gym? Well we play this game and that game, but one of them is boring." and so on.
The bedtime routine is both a time I love for talking and one that is overwhelming after a long day. Sometimes my husband does the bedtime routine, sometimes we do it together, and other times it is just me.
Do you have a bedtime routine?
The book part is always entertaining. I had no idea that children could stretch a book with a few pages to last for half an hour. The book part usually goes something like this:
Me: Snowmen at Christmasti---
Ayden: Hey mommy, guess how many ice cubes are in my cup!"
Me: Um five, so Snowmen at----
Regan: Mommy did you know owls can live for 14 days?
Me: Honey they probably live longer than that. OK, so the Snowmen---
Ayden: Mommy no you were wrong, it's seven.
Me: OK, Snowmen----
Ayden: Mommy when you went to my school, what classroom did you got to?
Me: I didn't go to your school, I lived somewhere else.
Ayden: Well when will I go there?
Me: You won't, we don't live in that area now.
Ayden: Well how do I get there? Where is it?
Me: It's too far away to go now, let's get back to the book.
Ayden and Regan: OK
Me: The snowmen were---
Ayden: Mommy why is that snowman doing that? Hey look a sight word from class! I know that word!
Me:Yes, Ayden good job, you are doing great. OK, The snowmen were---
Regan: Mommy Mommy!
Me: What Regan?
Regan: Ummmmm, I forget.
And there are the questions to which I have no immediate answer, such as "Mommy why is the sun so yellow?" "Why does the sky look blue?" "Are butterflies ticklish?"
And then there are ones that lead to even more questions, "Mommy what happens when snowmen melt?" "Well what is evaporation?" "Well isn't it sad that the snowmen melt and are gone forever?" "Mommy if the snowmen have gifts at Christmas (this was in the book we read) where do they hide them?"
We finally will make it through the book, only after we stop to go through a few repeats of this same scenario. Then we say our prayers. My daughters always pray, and my oldest daughter sometimes asks me very sweetly if she can sit and talk to God after we pray, of course I always say yes. My son has difficulty during this time. I pray with him, tell them stories about Jesus and the Bible, and I tell them about God. Yet my son has trouble accepting things he cannot see.My son has some behavioral/emotional health issues, so he questions everything and anything, several hundred times.
After praying, it sometimes leads to talks about Heaven and death. My son started asking questions about death and where you go, even though we talked about this before (he needs a lot of reassurance and always thinks of new questions to ask). Talks like this usually get my daughter upset, and she starts saying, "Mommy I don't want you to die." "Mommy I love you, please don't die." "Mommy when are you going to die?"
I do think the questions are important, and I just keep trying to answer them the best way I can. I hope to be able to give my son faith, even if he has a hard time understanding it now.
After we say our prayers, I love yous, and good nights, I finally leave the room. Of course, my youngest daughter usually sneaks downstairs several times for a drink, a hug, or with some question, which usually takes us a while to understand because she does not talk very well yet.
For my son, we have to check in closets and inside his bed tent. Then he usually has several very important things to tell us, such as "I have gym tomorrow. Don't forget my gym shoes. Do you know what games we play at gym? Well we play this game and that game, but one of them is boring." and so on.
The bedtime routine is both a time I love for talking and one that is overwhelming after a long day. Sometimes my husband does the bedtime routine, sometimes we do it together, and other times it is just me.
Do you have a bedtime routine?
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