Leaked Kraft Oreo Breastfeeding Ad Was Never Meant for Public Eyes

As I sit here watching a media frenzy take over the Internet, it saddens me that it is once again over something as normal as breastfeeding. I am not shocked, as I have come to expect this type of reaction from the public, especially in the US where breastfeeding is still not seen as the norm. Women are repeatedly told to "cover up" when breastfeeding out in public, and while Facebook claims they are supportive of breastfeeding--they have continued to remove breastfeeding pictures that are less than revealing.

I recently saw the new Kraft ad for Oreo's and it actually made me smile. I thought, wow there is a company that is finally showing some open support of breastfeeding. I had read that the ad was meant for Korea, and was not something that would be used throughout the rest of the world. That part was a bit of a let down, as I think the US needs more breastfeeding ads, but nevertheless, I thought it was cute and creative. I was happy to know that a company as big as Kraft would create something that helped normalize breastfeeding.

(I would love to share a picture of the ad here, but  due to copyright restrictions, I cannot. To view the ad for yourself, please visit this link. The ad depicts a baby breastfeeding while holding an Oreo in one hand, with a tagline that reads "Milk's Favorite Cookie." I also want to note that I appreciate the design and willingness to show breastfeeding, even if was mostly advertising a cookie. So, thanks Cheil Worldwide, the advertising agency for Kraft.)

Last night, I became aware that Kraft released statements about the ad and what it was supposed to be used for. Apparently, the ad was never meant for the public to see--not the public of Korea nor the public of the rest of the world. This is when I felt a big let down, as I had thought the company was making a change to help normalize breastfeeding, instead, they were trying to cover up this "leaked" ad that was never supposed to see the light of day, at least not in public.

Five Tips to Successfully Breastfeed

When I was pregnant with my first child, I wasn’t sure I would breastfeed. I started to learn more about the benefits of breastfeeding, so I knew that it was something I wanted to try. After my son was born, I learned that while breastfeeding is natural—it may not always come naturally to you. Breastfeeding is a learning experience for both the mother and the baby, so it is important to be prepared and seek help when you need it. I have now breastfed four children, and although not each experience was successful, I have learned a lot about breastfeeding and how to have a more successful start.

Learn as much as you can before your baby arrives. 

This may seem self-explanatory, but it is important to read books that are related to successful breastfeeding. I read a large amount of pregnancy books, and some simply scared me by saying that it would be painful and it may not work, so a lot of women supplement with formula. After having my first child, I did supplement, which I later learned was actually causing more problems. Milk production works on supply and demand, so the more a baby expresses the more milk you make. This is critical during the first six weeks as you establish a supply, so you are able to produce enough milk for your baby. Every supplement takes away a feeding session at the breast, which can negatively impact your milk supply. If I had known that at the beginning, then I probably would have had an easier time when I first started breastfeeding and dealt with a low supply. So, I do think it is important to read a lot of books on breastfeeding, meet with a La Leche League group, and even attend a breastfeeding class.

Historic Breastfeeding Pictures and Art

I recently found some wonderful websites that have a large amount of historic breastfeeding pictures and paintings. I recently changed my picture on Facebook to include one of these beautiful pictures, because I think they are truly inspiring and show just how special breastfeeding is. I have included some pictures below, as well as resources of where you can find more. I hope you enjoy these as much as I do. 

Artist: Reni, Guido, A.D. 1575-1642 This is one of my favorite paintings, as it depicts Mary breastfeeding Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

Title: A Mother's Love

Artist: Danhauser, Josef (1805-45)

Date: 1839

 

"The Mother" is a painting by Gari Melchers (1860-1932) The painting is circa 1900-1920. It is located at the Library of Congress.

Woman in white cape, breastfeeding a baby is a picture taken by photographer Day F. Holland (Fred Holland) (1864-1933). The picture is from 1905 and it is available at the Library of Congress.

Uganda. Jinja. Native mother and baby near Jinja

From Matson Photo Service circa 1936. This photo is at the Library of Congress.

Resources:


Doula Emily has a blog post with a few historic breastfeeding pictures.


Historic Photos and Prints of Breastfeeding on Facebook has an extensive collection of historic breastfeeding pictures and art. They also have their own website.


The Library of Congress has many historic breastfeeding pictures and art.


Breastfeeding Art has a timeline of historic breastfeeding pictures.

Formula Ads Appearing on Breastfeeding Posts?

Many breastfeeding moms enjoy writing blogs, which usually do end up including breastfeeding related information at some point, even if their blog is not solely about breastfeeding. For instance, my blog is about my family life and parenting topics, but I also do an occasional breastfeeding post, as well.

Today, while browsing my blog and updating some items in my sidebar, I noticed a new ad appearing below one of my latest breastfeeding posts. The ad was for Enfamil, which is a brand of formula. I do have Google Adsense implemented on my blog. Really, I don't make much money through Google Adsense, but it does cost money to run this blog and it does take quite a bit of time and effort, so I do have it implemented to help monetize my blog.

Are you a babywearing parent?

I am a big fan of babywearing. I do believe that infants thrive on touch and close contact, and wearing a baby in a carrier truly helps a baby feel comfortable, safe, and secure. I have had babies that cried and needed held all day long, so carrying my baby in a carrier really helped keep my hands free and gave me the chance to get things done around the house. It also helped my little ones feel close to me, so they were able to sleep better and stay content.

Things They Don't Tell You About Breastfeeding

During pregnancy, you are constantly bombarded with information from friends, family members, doctors, books, the media, etc. There are plenty of things that everyone tells you about breastfeeding, but there are also quite a few things that people do not tell you.

Extended Breastfeeding--How Long is Too Long?

I was reading an article the other day about extended breastfeeding, where the mother decided she wanted her body back and had decided it was time to wean. I can partially understand the feelings, but I do support child-led weaning and would not try to force a child to wean if he or she was not ready. However, I do applaud her for breastfeeding for three years, as that is something many women do not achieve today. While I cannot say I completely agree with her on this topic, I can say that she did what is recommended--breastfeed for as long as both mother and baby are happy.

Her post stirred up quote a controversy on a popular site for mothers, with women on both sides of the extended breastfeeding issue. I was quite taken aback at some of the comments. There were people who said everything from disgusting to stating how wrong it is to breastfeed that long. There was one comment in particular that I noticed, where the mother stated weaning earlier was better for the child's independence. She even tried to claim that by weaning earlier (as early as 8 months of age), the child will be more self-reliant and not depend on assistance from others. I also read comments that stated women who breastfeed for longer periods of time are horrible parents, because it is wrong to give your child everything they ask for. A few other comment's stated that we should not breastfeed longer than a year, because that is only something that should be done in third world countries.

I am honestly appalled that women feel the need to attack others and make comments that are so hurtful and just plain wrong. While the woman who wrote the post did ask for opinions, I do not think that entitles anyone to belittle another person or pass judgement on others. There are ways to get your point across without degrading others and being disrespectful of another person's choices.

I try not to engage in debates in public forums, because as I have said before, it does little to change the other person's mind. Yet, I have my blog and it is the perfect place for me to write and get out my feelings over something like this. I also hope that maybe some people will read my blog and learn something, or take away some knowledge that they may not have had before. Perhaps, someone out there can look at extended breastfeeding in a different way than he or she did before, after learning more about it.


There is no set time when breast milk suddenly loses its nutritional value. 

I hear or read many comments from people that state breast milk is no longer nutritional after six months, one year, etc. In reality, breast milk changes as the baby grows. The milk will continuously change to meet the need's of that baby, whether the child is six months old or two years old. To state that only women in third world countries should breastfeed for extended periods of time is wrong, as there are a wealth of nutritional benefits if the baby is allowed to continue nursing past one year, regardless of what country a person resides in.

Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.(Dewey)

 Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant. (Mandal, et al.)

 Breastmilk is, after all, milk. Even after six months, it still contains protein, fat, and other nutritionally important and appropriate elements which babies and children need. Breastmilk still contains immunologic factors that help protect the child even if he is 2 or older. In fact, some immune factors in breastmilk that protect the baby against infection are present in greater amounts in the second year of life than in the first.

 We must point out that, at the present time, the official policy of the American Academy of Pediatrics is not to put any limit on the duration of lactation. Moreover, a recent review of biological versus cultural aspects of weaning suggested that, from an anthropologic standpoint based on primates studies, “breastfeeding a child for 2.5 to 7 years is normal for our species.” (Newman)

 From head to toe, babies who breastfeed for extended periods of time are healthier overall.(Sears)

Extended breastfeeding will not make a child less independent.

While many try to claim that breastfeeding for an extended period of time will make the child less independent, that is simply untrue. Children receive nutritional benefits from breast milk, but they also use it as a source of comfort and security. Some studies even suggest that extended breastfeeding helps the child become better adjusted socially. Like one of the commenters mentioned, they want their child to be self-reliant at a young age. To this I say, why? While it is important to teach a child to be independent, why is everyone in such a rush to make their children so independent? Just because children turn one or two does not mean that they still do not need comfort and care when they are upset. Children need to be supported through difficult times, and if breastfeeding provides them with comfort, then how is that a bad thing? When newborns cry at night, most parents would run to their side to offer comfort and reassurance. Children learn that they can depend on their parent's to be there for them and to come when they need them. When the child decides they are done breastfeeding, then they have made a choice that will help further their independence.

As Jack Newman put it, "And when a child makes that step himself, he knows he has achieved something, he knows he has moved ahead. It is a milestone in his life of which he is proud....Often we push children to become ‘independent” too quickly. To sleep alone too soon, to wean from the breast too soon, to do without their parents too soon, to do everything too soon. Don’t push and the child will become independent soon enough." 

It is also worth noting that many children who are extended breastfed are very independent and self-reliant. The child is having his or her needs met, which benefits the child. Maybe children that get hurt will cry to their mother and ask to breastfeed, but wouldn't a child also come to the mother and cry for a hug if he or she got hurt? Breastfeeding is simply like giving a hug--it is providing comfort. The child is reassured and comforted, then can move on. Breastfeeding will not harm a child's independence and make the child become more reliant on his or parents, it is simply a way to continue providing nourishment and comfort, while also helping the child gain independence, knowing his or her needs are being met.


Extended breastfeeding will not make children think they can get everything they ask for. 

In regards to giving the child anything he or she asks for, breast milk does not fall into that category. Would parents deprive their child of food or water, because if they give in and give it to their child, then the child will think they can always get what they want? Of course not, so what is the difference when it comes to breast milk? Breast milk is for baby humans, and cow's milk is for baby cows. While many people do drink cow's milk, breast milk is created for the child. It provides nutrients and immunities that no other milk can compare too. When it comes to teaching children that they can't have anything they want, just because they demand it, that should be left to things like movies, toys or junk food, not something that provides nourishment and comfort.


Women who breastfeed for an extended period of time are not doing it to be perverted.

One of the meanest comments I have read stated that women who let their child breastfeed for longer than one year are sick and twisted, and obviously they must be seeking some sexual perversion out of it. Breastfeeding a child has little to do with anything sexual, and is all about nourishing and comforting a child.

There are still benefits for both the mother and child. 

I have written before about the benefits of breast milk, and there are still benefits for both the mother child from extended breastfeeding.  (Bonyata and WHO)


These are just a few of the benefits, to read more visit Kellymom,  Kathy's Commentaries, or the World Health Organization.

For the child: 
Less chance of stomach upset and diarrhea
Receives antibodies and immunities that protect the child
Decreased risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, and type-2 diabetes as an adult


For the mother:
Decreased risk of ovarian, uterine, and endometrial, and breast cancer
Weight loss is usually easier
Reduced risk pf rheumatoid arthritis and osteoporosis
In some cases, fertility is delayed

It is recommended. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends mothers breastfed for at least one year, and then continue to do so until the mother and baby are ready to wean. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for two years or more.The La Leche League recommends breastfeeding for as long as both mother and baby want to continue.

Extended breastfeeding should be the norm. 

In the article "A Natural Age of Weaning" by Katherine Dettwyler PhD, she found that there really is no average weaning age because it varies so greatly among different nations. Based on the research she compiled,the natural weaning age for humans should be between 2.5 and 7 years of age.

I think in our era of industrialized nations and mainstream lifestyle it is often overlooked that extended breastfeeding should be the norm. In some countries, children are breastfed until between the ages of four to seven. In others, some mothers never even try to breastfeed or they wean within the first month. Of course, in countries where there the water is not clean and food supplies are low, it is critical that the mothers be able to offer their children something nutritional that is is safe to consume. However, it is also important that mothers in more developed nations offer their children breast milk, as well. Our culture has become obsessed with sex, and breasts have been objectified as sexual objects. It has become so prevalent that many people look at a breastfeeding mother with disgust, thinking it is perverse and gross (especially if the child she is nursing looks older than a year). No one can accept that extended breastfeeding should be the norm, as they only see breasts as sexual objects.

One study found that many health professionals who felt negative feelings about extended breastfeeding changed their minds after they were educated about it, which is what we should continue trying to do. (Cockerham-Colas, et al) It is unfortunate that even people who are health professionals do not agree with extended breastfeeding, when there are an immense amount of benefits for the baby and the mother.  If more people could learn to accept breastfeeding, then more women could find support and would not give up breastfeeding so quickly. Many women lack the support they need to continue breastfeeding, and others are simply afraid to nurse in public and feel confined to their homes, for fear of being judged or ridiculed.  Some women are even afraid to let anyone know that they are still breastfeeding a toddler or preschool-age child.

As a society, we need to look past the modern way of thinking, that breasts equals sex, and realize that extended breastfeeding is beneficial, natural, and normal. Women should be supported, not ridiculed or made to feel badly for the choice to breastfeed.

Have you extended breastfed? How long did you breastfeed for?


References:

Bonyata, Kelly. "Breastfeeding Past Infancy Fact Sheet." Kellymom. N.p., 27 Jun 2011. Web. 7 Feb 2012. <html>. 

Dettwyler, Katherine. "A Natural Age of Weaning." Kathy's Commentaries. Prairienet, 15 Apr. 1999. Web. 7 Feb 2012. <http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html>.

Dewey, KG. "Nutrition, Growth, and Complementary Feeding of The Brestfed Infant." Pediatric clinics of North America. 48.1 (2001): 87-104. Web. 7 Feb. 2012. <http://www.pediatric.theclinics.com/article/S0031-3955(05)70287-X/abstract>. 

Lauren Cockerham-Colas, Laura Geer, Karen Benker, and Michael A. Joseph. Breastfeeding Medicine. -Not available-, ahead of print. doi:10.1089/bfm.2011.0027.<http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/bfm.2011.0027>

 Mandal, Dror, , et al. "Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breast Milk in Prolonged Lactation." Pediatrics. 116.3 (2005): 432-435. Web. 7 Feb. 2012. <http://www.pediatricsdigest.mobi/content/116/3/e432.full>.

Newman, Jack. "Breastfeed a Toddler-Why on Earth?." Breastfeeding Inc. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Feb 2012. <http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-BT>. 

 Sears, William. "Ask Dr. Sears Extended Breastfeed--Handling the Criticism." Parenting. Parenting, n.d. Web. 7 Feb 2012. <http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-extended-breastfeeding----handling-the-criticism>.


"10 Facts on Breastfeeding." WHO. WHO, Jul 2011. Web. 7 Feb 2012. <http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/en/>. 

More information about breastfeeding a toddler. 

Feature Post: Interview with Zubky

I was recently given the chance to do a review of the teething/nursing necklaces by Zubky. I was able to learn quite a bit about the shop through Natalie, who creates the necklaces with her family, and I appreciate the time she took to share this information with me. Natalie and her husband are passionate about their products and their family, so I thought it was important for everyone to be able to read about their shop. Zubky is currently sponsoring a giveaway on my site, so please be sure to check out my review, as well. (I will be posting the review and giveaway later today--so please check back!)

How Zubky Was Started

Waves Nursing Necklace by Zubky

Basically, my daughter, McKenna was a pinchy, hairpuller and couldn't stay focused while nursing AT ALL. I was committed to nursing her until at least the one-year mark and knew that I had to do something or we weren't going to last. I was thinking about getting a nursing necklace and when I saw the prices for them, I thought it was a little pricey. Being a crafty mama, I thought I could make much nicer ones for a lot less than companies who outsource to China and mark up the prices. I loaded up my baby and went to our local craft store and I dangled a bunch of the pendants in front of her and found that she LOVED this one (the first baby approved design :) www.etsy.com/listing/73000966), so I bought it and some silver cord and beads and went home to build my necklace. It worked out really well, so I went back to find another one, and then another, and then another... It was a fun thing to get out of the house and do with her so I really enjoyed it. My friends loved them, so I made some for gifts, and then after a few times of being stopped by someone wanting to know where I bought my necklace, I decided to make some and sell them online in my husband's Etsy shop (he was selling cornhole boards on Etsy under TheWoodChucksWood).

First Necklace by Zubky

How the Price-Point was Determined

I wanted to make sure the nursing necklace pricepoints were fair enough that any mom who wanted/needed one, could afford one. Many of our nursing necklaces cost less than $10, for that specific purpose. We also participate in many charitable organizations by donating our products to La Leche League fundraisers and other non-profit groups promoting natural parenting and breastfeeding awareness.


Why the Zubky Teething Necklaces Were Created

Then, when my daughter hit the teething stage, Chuck, my husband, made her some wood rings to chew on and she LOVED them, but soon learned how fun it was to throw them on the floor and then go up and down as I would pick them up when I was wearing her. (I personally think it was because I was wearing her in my Moby wrap and she liked the ride up and down to the floor - haha - She's a smart cookie!) It just made sense to tie the ring on a necklace cord like my nursing necklaces, but it seemed too plain with just a wooden ring. I spent a week working on designing a way to add beads and knot them onto a single strand that could attach to the ring in a safe way that wouldn't easily break. Finally, my rainbow bead knot creation worked and looked good. That's how "Stephen's Legos" - the original Zúbky teething necklace design - was born. (As a side note: Our youngest son, Stephen, is obsessed with Legos and the colors on the black cord just reminded me of his Legos I'm always stepping on, so I named it in that manner.)

I wanted a few other bright colored necklaces to grab her attention, so I designed a few more. One had to be girlie with some pink in it, and since she's my only girl, I named it after McKenna... that one is McKenna's Marbles. I put a few up on Etsy, and they sold out so I made more, and have had tremendous response ever since. I've gotten some great feedback about how babies just love them, and I know firsthand that they do... I wear one all the time when I'm home with McKenna. 

McKenna's Marbles

As she's gotten older, aside from chewing on it, she really likes shaking it around like a rattle too. It's like a fun, chewy toy for her that I don't have to pick up all the time. :) My husband actually designed one for her that has a large bead on a single string and she absolutely adores it at this stage.


How the Materials For The Necklaces Are Selected


We have always tried to use natural things with the kids... wood toys over plastic... organic fruits and veggies over conventional... cloth diapers over disposable... etc. When it came to the teething necklaces, I wanted to make them as natural as possible. We started using organic olive oil to polish the finished rings, and then eventually came up with a natural beeswax polish recipe. We source our beeswax from a local lady who doesn't use pesticides, antibiotics, or chemicals in or around her hives. I always try to source locally.

I knew that although the sensory beads in the middle of the necklaces wouldn't really be in the babies' mouths, they should be colored with lead-free paints for safety. I searched for a supplier with verified lead-free painted beads and purchased from them, even though it was at premium pricing... You have to pay a little more for quality sometimes... And to make the beads even more natural, my husband and I came up with a way color them with food-safe ingredients. We use 100% safe, food-grade ingredients to dye some of the beads and rings and love the way the colors come out through that process.

The Inspiration Behind the Designs

We like to create two different styles. There are fun, playful designs with vivid rainbow of colors that babies just love; and there are more subtle designs that are stylish enough for moms to pair with an outfit. Believe it or not, my husband designed one of the most popular designs, "Autumn Leaves" (www.etsy.com/listing/82890193). He's a very stylish guy and has really shown that he has an eye for designing, and he impresses me every time he comes up with something new. He tends to put the more subdued, natural colors together and I usually am behind the bright color combinations. It's funny how that works out because his personality is mellow and calm, and I'm the crazy one... you can definitely see the difference in our design work! He looks to nature for his designs, and I am inspired by the playful side of things. 

Who Creates the Necklaces


2011 was a crazy year for us. Chuck got a ton of custom cornhole board orders and I had necklace orders rolling in left and right. This meant that he spent most of his time working in his shop, and I spent most of my time in the house with the kids. We really enjoy the time we spend TOGETHER so he decided to shut down the custom cornhole listings and focus on the necklaces with me....We get the kids involved in the design process too. The boys love to sit at the table with us and put together different color combinations. Before we list a new design, I always test it out on McKenna, our daughter, to make sure it's interesting enough to catch her eye and hold her attention.

Where the Zubky Name Came From

As we begin 2012 with a new focus, we wanted to rename our effort to tie more appropriately with our products and we came up with a name for our new shop: "Zúbky"... It's a tribute to my heritage. Zúbky means "teething" in Slovak and my paternal great grandmother was an immigrant to the US from Slovakia. Every now and then, I will use a Slovak word to name a new design too. I think that adds some fun to it.



To view Zubky's products, please visit the website or the Etsy Shop.

You can also become a fan on Facebook and join the mailing list to stay up to date on all of the new designs!

Is it normal for a child to pretend to breastfeed a baby doll?

When it comes to a woman breastfeeding, there are varying opinions and no shortage of people willing to share their opinions. I have recently discovered that there is also no shortage of opinions when it comes to children pretending to be breastfeeding.

"Children who breastfeed baby dolls are going to become too sexualized and obsessed with sex or breasts." 

"Children who breastfeed baby dolls face long-term health implications that could be detrimental to their mental health." 

"A child breastfeeding a baby doll is just wrong or gross."

When I hear or read these comments, I am often taken aback. Isn't it natural for a child to play with baby dolls or mimic what they see others do? Has anyone ever said something in front of a child, only to later hear that word or phrase repeated several hundred times? Does anyone have children who like to play dress up, cook food in a play kitchen, and pretend to be a princess or superhero? Wouldn't it be completely natural for children to mimic what they see their parents do and want to reenact those scenarios?

 

Children have an incredibly imaginative mind, and they are able to take pieces of daily life and use those experiences in role-playing and pretend play. It is only natural for young children to mimic what they see occurring in their daily lives. If a mother usually feeds her baby with bottles, it is only natural that an older sibling will mimic the behavior by bottle-feeding baby dolls. If an older child sees a mother breastfeeding an infant every day, then he or she is more likely to mimic that behavior.

Is it normal for children to mimic their parents behavior?

A study published in Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that children begin to mimic their parent's choices at a young age. The study was mainly covering what types of food choices children would make when allowed to select items from a pretend grocery store, but what they found was that children would often select the same types of foods and beverages that their parent's usually purchase or consume. (Sutherland, Beavers, and et al) This shows that even at a young age, children start to mimic their parent's behaviors. Whether it comes to making food choices or pretending to feed a baby doll or by pretending to dress up as a doctor, children use not only their imagination, but also parts of what they see occurring in their lives to participate in role-playing and pretend play.

What are the benefits of role-playing and pretend play?

Although researchers are continuously trying to explain what role pretend play has on a child's development, they have found that there are several benefits of role-playing and pretend play.

Building Social and Emotional Skills: When children use their imagination for pretend play, they are able to understand the emotions and feelings of others. While many children are not developed enough to fully understand how another person feels, role-playing allows the child to put themselves in another person's shoes. They are able to understand why someone feels a certain way or how that person would react to a situation, which helps the child develop empathy and an understanding of another person's thoughts or feelings.

Role-Playing: Some researchers have concluded that role-playing is especially critical for a child to develop social and emotional skills. They state that when children engage in role-playing, they are able to take into account the way another person would react to a situation, versus how they themselves would react.

Language and Communication Skills: When a child is able to sit and use his or her imagination through creative play, the child will explore his or her vocabulary and may use words that they have overheard from parents or peers. Children are able to reenact situations that have occurred, and they are also able to build stronger language skills as they learn how to communicate effectively. When more children are playing together, they learn how to communicate with another one and how to problem solve together, which relates to social development, as well.

Problem-Solving: When children use pretend play, they are able to create scenarios and problems during the course of playtime. They are also able to build crucial problem solving skills when they try to fix the problem or work out a different scenario. From pretending to build a castle out of blocks to pretending they are a mommy caring for a crying baby, they are focusing on problem solving, which helps cognitive development.

How does this all relate to a child pretending to breastfeed a baby doll?

The above benefits explain how role-playing and pretend play benefits the child developmentally, and if a child pretends to breastfeed a baby doll, then he or she is engaged in role-playing. In our modern culture, breastfeeding has not become the norm and is often unaccepted by others. There are many women who will not breastfeed in public, because they fear being asked to leave or being judged. There are women who are not even willing to try to breastfeed, because they think it would be too weird to have a baby nursing from their breasts, since they view breasts as sexual objects. Our society has made it easy to view breasts as only sexual objects, with numerous magazines and catalogs being covered with "sexy" women in revealing clothing, or even nothing at all.

While there are websites and campaigns designated to spreading awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding, there are still women that face difficulties. Women are asked to leave public places or have to deal with family members, friends, and even doctors not being supportive of their decision to breastfeed. I know many breastfeeding mothers who have been asked to not breastfeed in front of company and never to do it in public, while others are told to just give the baby a bottle, as it would be easier. All of this does nothing to help support the breastfeeding mother, and these things also do not help a child understand that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby.

Of course there are situations when a mother absolutely cannot breastfeed, and there are women who simply choose not to do it. I am not saying that anyone should be criticized for the choices they make on how to feed their baby, as I understand from my experience why a woman may choose formula over breast milk. Yet, I think it is crucial that children are shown that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby. If children are shown from the beginning that breastfeeding a baby is normal, and not something disgusting or obscene, then they are less likely to view breasts as only sexual objects. While I do not deny that breasts have become sexual objects, they can serve two purposes. The normal, natural function of breasts is to feed an infant, and that is something that children should know. If a child mimics that act of breastfeeding a baby doll, then he or she understands that is simply a way to feed a baby.

A few points to consider:

A study published in the Bouremouth University Journal found that many children were unaware of "breastfeeding terminology or imagery." The children also associated formula and bottles with breastfeeding. Researchers concluded that "It appeared difficult for children to view breastfeeding as normal, perhaps because it is rarely seen or discussed, and formula milk feeding is so prevalent." (Angell) They also noted that the children seemed interested in breastfeeding, and it would be beneficial to teach them more about it.

Another study was done to see what experiences children had with breastfeeding. While many children did know that they had been breastfed or that their siblings had been breastfed, they had not seen their father close to their mother while she breastfed and few had never seen their mother breastfeed. Even though many girls stated that they would like to breastfeed and boys stated they would like their wives to breastfeed, many of the children said that would be embarrassed to breastfeed in public.

"Furthermore, when playing with their dolls, most girls did not pretend to breastfeed, and 771 (71.5%) reported their dolls had bottles, or pacifiers, and pretended to feed their dolls with a bottle. They say they would enjoy breastfeeding, but where embarrassed of doing that in public. The books and cartoons that these children usually read and watch do not show women breastfeeding. Many children consider breast milk to be the best food for the baby, but they have several misconceptions, and not all the children knew what breastfeeding was."(Galvão and Aparecida)

What I take from these studies is that children need to be exposed to breastfeeding as the normal way to feed babies. Many children are unaware of breastfeeding, and even if they do know what it is, they do not think it is OK to do it public. This is not only an issue in the US, as there are reports of this across the globe. Breastfeeding is the natural and normal way to feed a baby, and children should become better educated about breastfeeding. If children are able to learn that breastfeeding is normal and natural at an early age, they will be more accepting of breastfeeding as adults. No matter what choice children make when they are adults on how to feed their children, if they are educated about breastfeeding, they will be more accepting of others, whether they breastfeed or not. If children are more accepting and better educated about breastfeeding, they may make the choice to breastfeed as adults, which could help increase breastfeeding rates across the US and in other countries. There are numerous benefits to breastfeeding, so wouldn't it be beneficial for everyone if more women choose to breastfeed their babies?

For children that pretend to breastfeed baby dolls, they are simply engaging in role-playing and are also accepting breastfeeding as the natural and normal way to feed a baby. Why let children decide that breasts are purely sexual, as that is what most people grow to understand from watching television or reading magazines. Instead, why not let them understand the natural purpose of breasts, which is to nourish and comfort a baby.

For some great pictures of children pretending to breastfeed their baby dolls, visit The Leaky Boob.

References:

Angell, C. "Primary school children's perceptions of infant feeding: exploring their awareness using an adapted'draw and write' method.." Bournemouth University Publications. (2009): n. page. Web. 13 Jan. 2012. <http://eprints.bournemouth.ac.uk/12898/>. 

Azar, Beth. "The power of pretending." Monitor on Psychology-American Psychological Association. 33.3 (2002): 46. Web. 13 Jan. 2012. <http://www.apa.org/monitor/mar02/pretend.aspx>

 Galvão Dulce Maria Pereira Garcia, Silva Isília Aparecida. "Portuguese school children breastfeeding experiences." Rev. esc. enferm. USP Journal of SauPaulo School of Nursing. 45.5 (2011): 1055-1062. Web. 13 Jan. 2012. <http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?pid=S0080-62342011000500004&script=sci_arttext&tlng=en>. 

"The Importance of Pretend Play." Scholastic. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Jan 2012. <http://www.scholastic.com/resources/article/the-importance-of-pretend-play>.

   

Sutherland, Lisa, Daniel Beavers, et al. "Like Parent, Like Child Child Food and Beverage Choices During Role Playing ." Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine. 162.11 (2008): n. page. Web. 13 Jan. 2012. <http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/short/162/11/1063>.

My Tandem Breastfeeding Story

I had never planned to tandem breastfeed. I thought that women who did tandem breastfeed were amazing, but I never considered that I may actually be in the same situation.

My husband and I were blessed with our first child, and I made a decision to breastfeed, not really knowing what that entailed. I should have become better educated about breastfeeding before I had my first child, but I did not. I only learned about the benefits of breastfeeding and how milk production worked well after I was already into my breastfeeding journey, which resulted in a few overwhelming months of confusion.

My son was a year old when we found out that we were expecting baby number two. I will admit, I was shocked. I still felt like a new mommy, and I was not ready to have another baby. My husband was excited, I was stunned. I slowly began to find happiness in my new pregnancy, and I knew that this baby was another blessing for us. Although I accepted my pregnancy and had found joy in the prospect of bringing home another child, I was concerned about the impact it would have on my son. He was still so young, and he was still breastfeeding.

My son was very attached to his nursing times, and he often used nursing as a way to find comfort. I visited my doctor who informed that I needed to wean immediately. I will preface this by saying I do like my doctor and did trust him, but I did not agree with his recommendation. He strongly advised me to wean my son immediately, stating that my body would become overworked trying to provide nutrients to a developing baby and a breastfeeding infant, as well as myself.


I took to the Internet and did my own research, and I found that it was possible to breastfeed while pregnant. I read through so much information that I became convinced that I could make it through my pregnancy. I continued nursing my son on demand, which was not always easy to do. I became uncomfortable and my milk supply dropped, which made nursing sessions hard. I sometimes limited his nursing sessions by counting, and I sometimes used distraction to avoid nursing him. I disliked having to do those things, but my son would have continued to nurse all day long if I let him.

I had read stories of the wonderful bond that siblings who are tandem breastfed share. However, that was not the case for us at first. Our little girl arrived and things did not go well. My son loved his "nu-nu" and was not willing to share. He often pushed his little sister away or tried to pull her off when she was nursing. I finally managed to nurse them at the same time, and he disliked that, as well. I was confused and bewildered. Everything I read had said how wonderful the bond would be, and how tandem breastfeeding would help the older child adjust better.

I will say that it took a few weeks (maybe a few months) before it became easier. I would sometimes nurse them at the same time, and sometimes I would nurse each child separately. I had to remind him that his sister needed nu-nu too, but he was young and it was hard for him to understand. I finally found a system that worked, each child had their own side. It may sound strange, but letting him have his own side really helped. I would nurse him on one side and my little one on the other side. It also made me realize that one breast can produce enough breast milk for one baby. I never knew that a woman could successfully exclusively breastfeed a baby from one breast, but it is definitely possible.

Once I figured out what worked, I then saw the bond develop. I can imagine a tiny outstretched hand reach across my chest to stroke a tiny baby's head. It was sweet and something I will cherish forever. We made it for nearly a year, and my son weaned around the age of three. Overall, it was a wonderful experience for us. I never thought I would ever tandem breastfeed, but I am glad that I was able to have that experience.

Have you ever tandem breastfed or nursed during pregnancy? I would love to hear your experiences!

Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

I read a comment on one of my favorite Facebook groups today that was disrespectful, misinformed and condescending towards breastfeeding women. Obviously, the person was trolling the page, most likely in hopes of starting a debate. I wanted to respond, to educate this person on breastfeeding, yet I did not. I do not feel it usually results in any good to engage in a formula versus breast milk debate with certain people. They want to believe that their opinions are right, and there is usually no changing their mind on anything. I do like to help those who are misinformed become better educated about breastfeeding, yet I try not to engage in battles with people who are obviously looking to start a debate. However, the comments this person made are things that I have heard before, so I wanted to address some of them. I am not posting this to say breast is best (breast is natural and normal), but I am hopeful that this helps educate some who have the wrong perceptions regarding breastfeeding.

Here are some common questions or comments I hear regarding breastfeeding, and my response to them.

Formula is just as good as breast milk and formula-fed babies are just as healthy. So, why do you even breastfeed?

My response to this became very long, so I have created a new post on this topic. To summarize, the health benefits, bonding, convenience, and components of breast milk are all reasons why I breastfeed.

Why can't you just schedule outings around feedings? Do you really have to go out when the baby needs to eat?

In reality, there is no set schedule for feeding a baby. Some babies do develop times they like to nurse, but others nurse throughout the day. Babies need to nurse at least 8 to 12 times per day during the early weeks (or about every two hours), which would make it very difficult to only go on outings when the baby has already been fed. Do you schedule outings around when you need to eat? Do you stop and grab a bite to eat or a drink when you are hungry or thirsty? I really see no difference between the two, a baby needs to eat--just like an adult. If we all sat at home, scheduling our outings around when we need to eat, when we would go anywhere? There is also the point that maybe the mother would like to wait until after the baby eats, but maybe she just ran out of diapers or maybe she had an appointment somewhere and had to bring the baby. Really, it does not matter why she is out with her baby, it is her right to go out and run errands or shop anytime she feels like it.

Why can't you just express milk in a bottle? Do you really have to breastfeed in public?

I think some people are unaware how much work it takes to express breast milk. You need to sterilize all of your pump parts and bottles. You then need to set aside time to sit down and pump enough milk, which could take a few minutes or an hour. You need to determine how much milk the baby will really need, and ensure you don't bring too much or too little.

If the mom pumps milk for the baby, she will then be missing a feeding while she is out. Unless she pulls out her pump and starts expressing milk. Or she could just nurse her baby, which will maintain her supply. Milk production works on supply and demand. While one missed feeding probably won't have a big impact on her supply, missing too many feedings could. There is also the point that the mom will become engorged and uncomfortable if she skips too many feedings.

A mom can either do all the work, just to pump milk for a bottle so no one is offended by a baby breastfeeding, or the mom can simply get the baby ready and leave. When the baby needs to eat, she can simply breastfeed with milk that is sterile, full of nutrients, and at the perfect temperature. Convenience is one reason moms choose to breastfed, and pumping is not very convenient for some moms.

Then there is the fact that some moms cannot pump that much breast milk, no matter how hard they try. A baby is much more efficient than a breast pump, which means the baby can remove milk from the breast easier than a mom can remove it with a pump. So, even if a mom wanted to pump milk to give the baby a bottle, she may not be able too.

There are also concerns over nipple confusion and flow preference, which can happen when a breastfed baby is given bottles or artificial nipples. More information: Read myth number 15. http://www.llli.org/nb/lvaprmay98p21nb.html


Only poor women breastfeed, because they cannot afford formula.

While I am not rich, I am also not poor. I do think it is unfair to assume that women only breastfeed because they are poor and cannot afford formula. There are programs, such as WIC, that help pay for formula. Many women could choose formula if they wanted too, but many know the benefits of breastfeeding, and it is an informed, conscience decision they make. But yes, breastfeeding is more cost-effective. It does save money, but that is not the only reason I do it. I do it for the benefits, not only to save a dollar. Even if a woman did it to save money, why should it matter? Perhaps it is wrong to look for items on sale and to clip coupons too. Regardless of why a woman initially choose to breastfeed, most women discover just how beneficial breastfeeding is, which makes them want to continue breastfeeding even longer.

Formula helps you have your life back. When you breastfeed, you are always tied to the baby. You get to go out, work, go to college, etc. if you choose formula.

I would think that most breastfeeding women do feel that they have a life. Becoming a mother changes your life, and for some mothers, their new life becomes focused on their children. Some women are happy to stay at home with their children and not work. Perhaps the woman made a conscience decision to stay at home and not work, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she breastfeeds.

There are also women that do work or go to college while breastfeeding. Maybe they do express breast milk, so they can do other things when they cannot be near their baby. There are also women that work from home or go to college online. Many women that breastfeed are educated, so implying that women who breastfeed are unable to obtain degrees or work is merely an ignorant and incorrect assumption.

There is also a lot of emphasis put on "getting to go out." Where, I am not quite sure. A breastfeeding mother can continue to run errands and go shopping, with or without her baby. If she has a partner or babysitter, maybe she expresses milk and runs errands alone. If her baby is older, maybe she leaves the baby with a caregiver and goes out after the baby eats or during nap times. If she brings the baby out with her, she already has everything she needs, and she doesn't have to worry about packing bottles.

If the going out part is implied as getting to go out to bars, clubs or partying, I have different thoughts. I cannot speak for anyone besides myself, but I thought becoming a mother meant spending time with your children and raising those children. Some women need to work outside the home or go to college, but they are doing those things for the benefit of their family. Going out to clubs or bars is not something I think of as a regular occurrence during motherhood. If there are mothers that think they should be able to go out all the time and party, then that is their own prerogative. I think of going out as a special time, when maybe the mother and her partner go out for a date night or have time to reconnect. I do think it is important for the mom to go out, especially with her partner, to have time together and to reconnect. However, I do not think partying all the time is something that should be expected for any parent, whether she uses formula or breastfeeds.

Regardless, mother's can still "go out" when they breastfeed. It may take some planning to pump milk, pick a day or night, and find a suitable caregiver, but they are able to go out without their babies when they want too.

You can't eat certain foods or drink alcohol when you breastfeed. 

This is another incorrect assumption. There is no list of foods that breastfeeding mothers should avoid. There are no dietary restrictions. She should eat healthy and stay hydrated, but ultimately her body will continue to produce quality milk for her baby. In some cases, babies may develop an intolerance to certain foods in the mother's diet, but that doesn't mean a woman should never try to breastfeed. Some women do have to cut certain things out of their diets, like caffeine or cow's milk, but it is not the same for every woman or for every baby.

Alcohol is another thing that I have heard mentioned often. A woman can breastfeed and drink alcohol. If the mother has a newborn or her baby is under three months of age, she should avoid drinking alcohol. At this age, a baby's liver is immature and cannot metabolize alcohol as quickly as an older baby or toddler. After this point, the mother can have one or two drinks. If she knows she wants to have a drink or two, she should feed the baby first, and then have a drink. If the baby sleeps through the night, the mother can have a drink after putting the baby to bed.

Alcohol will peak in breast milk approximately 30 minutes to one hour after drinking, but this may vary depending on her size and if she has eaten anything or not. Alcohol passes out of breast milk, just as it does from the blood stream. There is no need to pump and dump, which I often hear recommended. Pumping the milk and throwing it away will not get the alcohol out of the milk faster if the alcohol is still in the mother's system. If a woman feels sober enough to drive, she is usually  sober enough to breastfeed. Still, drinking too much can have a negative affect on the baby, so women should limit their alcohol intake to one or two drinks.

(Reference: Bonyata, Kelly. "Breastfeeding and Alcohol." Kellymom. N.p., 01 Jul 2010. Web. 30 Dec 2011. <http://kellymom.com/health/lifestyle/alcohol.html>)


If you're going to breastfeed in public, why can't you go out to your car, go in a bathroom, or at least use a cover?

It is very inconvenient to leave a store and go out to the car. A mother would have to either rush and pay for everything and run to the car, all with a crying baby that needs to eat, or she would have to put her things down and go out to the car and then come back in later to purchase the items. If she is at a restaurant, she would be leaving her table and food to go feed the baby. Why would a woman bother to leave somewhere and feed in the car, when she could just breastfeed the baby right where she is?

I once read an article that compared breastfeeding to bodily functions that you do in a bathroom, which means that both should be done in private. There is nothing similar about breastfeeding and bodily functions that are done in the bathroom. Things that are done in the bathroom are not sanitary, and hand-washing is usually involved (I hope). Breast milk is sterile and contains antibacterial properties; it is not something unsanitary or something that would require the mother to wash her hands after doing so.

As far as feeding the baby in the bathroom, would you eat in the bathroom? I doubt it, especially a public restroom. A public bathroom is contaminated with bodily fluids and germs from numerous other people. There is no suitable place to feed a baby, and it is simply disgusting.

As far as the cover, many women do use covers to help them breastfeed discretely. However, there are some reasons why a woman may not be able to use a cover. If it is hot in the store or they are out on a hot day, the baby would become overheated under a cover. Some babies dislike covers and refuse to nurse while covered. Some women prefer not using a cover, as they are able to latch their baby on easier or they just dislike using them. I wonder which some people would prefer, hearing a baby cry through the store or catching a glimpse of a quiet, content baby who is breastfeeding?

There are also laws in many states that protect a mother's right to breastfeed in public, so it continues to amaze me when women are told to leave public places or go sit in a bathroom.

Women who breastfeed in public are just flaunting their body.

I often hear the phrases "whipping it out" or "flaunting it." Neither accurately describes breastfeeding in public. I think most women that breastfeed do like to do so discretely, not necessarily to avoid offending anyone, but because of their own personal preference to not accidentally expose any skin in public. Many women wear nursing tops, buttoned shirts or layers to make breastfeeding in public easier. Once a baby is latched on, it is usually hard to tell if the baby is being breastfed or is simply snuggling with his or her mama. There may be a bit of skin shown, but nothing compared to the models on the cover of swimsuit magazines or the girls who wear low-cut tops and short skirts to the mall. To those who think women are exposing too much and it is "disgusting," I wonder if it is OK for women to walk around with cleavage showing, and if it is acceptable for women to wear low-cut tops that reveal even more skin? If a woman truly wanted to show off her body, she would dress that way. Breastfeeding a baby in public is about nourishing and comforting the baby, it is not sexual and it is not an attempt to show off any skin.

Women who breastfeed think they are better than than those who do not.

I think there are some extreme supporters of breastfeeding that may have given the implication that we all think that we are an elite, supreme class of people, and anyone who does not breastfeed is below us. Some women have so much passion for breastfeeding that they make it seem as though it is the ultimate and only way way to feed a baby. Of course, there are other ways to feed a baby, but breastfeeding is the natural way.

I was reading a post on a blog that I recently found, The Alpha Parent, which references a post made by the Analytical Armadillo. (In case you have never read either of these blogs, they are awesome, and I do recommend them).

In the posts made, we are told that "breast isn't best, it is normal." I have often thought about this, but never in the way it was presented in these articles. The entire concept that breast isn't best left me pondering the message that is being sent to women. Most women are bombarded with information during pregnancy; from friends, family members, books, doctors, the media, etc. Each touting that breast is best, so where does that leave formula? Formula is not "best," but it is still safe and generally acceptable. The message is that breast is best, but formula is OK too.

If we look at breast as being best, then it allows others to say that formula is an acceptable alternative. Feeding your baby by breast becomes something on a pedestal, which seems superior and mighty. The message that is sent is that breast is something extra and a bonus--not something necessary. We learn that feeding your baby by breast has advantages and benefits, but formula won't do any harm and it still provides the nutrients a baby needs.

In reality, formula is very different than breast milk, which I addressed in my post about the benefits of breastfeeding.

I don't think that every woman who breastfeeds tries to come off as judgmental, as many are simply knowledgeable about breastfeeding and want to share information. Although there are some women who can be judgmental, I do not think any woman should be insulted, degraded or made to feel guilty for the choices she makes regarding her children or the way she feeds them. I also do not feel that women who breastfeed automatically believe that are superior to everyone else. Breastfeeding women are educated on the benefits of breast milk, and they know that it is the normal and natural way to feed a baby. 

I do find that many people are incorrect about certain things regarding breastfeeding, which is why some breastfeeding moms try to share information, and then they are bashed for being a lactivist and judgmental. Yet, I find that some formula feeding moms are judgmental and insult breastfeeding mothers, which is ironic. How can you accuse another mother of being judgmental, when you are passing judgements yourself, on something you may know little about?

As for me, I am not the one to pass judgements on anyone. I do not look down on other mother's if they do not want to or cannot breastfeed. I will gladly share information, education and resources, but I try to avoid engaging in debates with those who are not open to seeing things a different way. I do look at both sides of an issue, and I know from personal experience why formula may be in the picture. I am also informed and educated about breastfeeding enough to know that it is normal and natural. If that makes me too pro-breastfeeding or a lactivist, then I suppose that is true.

Why Do You Breastfeed?

Formula fed babies are just as healthy as breastfed babies, so why all the breast milk is better hype? 

I know many women say that their formula-fed babies are just as healthy as breastfed babies, so what is the difference? I am not against formula feeding. I did formula feed two of my children, one fully and one with supplements. There are certain situations when breastfeeding does not work, and formula becomes necessary. And then there are those who figure it is just as good as breast milk or they don't even want to try breastfeeding. We can all make that choice for our babies, but I find that a lot of the choices made come from being misinformed.

Here are just a few reasons why women may choose to breastfeed. 

Components of Breast Milk

I could expand more on each component of breast milk, but I may do that later in a future post. For the time being, I will briefly explain the differences.

Breast milk is made up of proteins, fats, carbohydrates, white blood cells, immunoglobulins, vitamins, minerals, enzymes and hormones. The proteins (whey and casein) in breast milk are easily digestible for a newborn baby. The greater percentage of whey in breast milk allows the baby to digest the milk more easily, which means less spitting up, burping, and reflux, and no constipation. Some babies can get reflux, even if they are breastfed, but it is less common in breastfed babies.

Many brands of formula attempt to recreate what breast milk can offer by adding DHA (omega-3 fatty acid) and other vitamins. While some nutrients are artificially recreated, there are some things that formula just cannot provide. Formula cannot supply a baby with the immunological benefits of breast milk, as breast milk contains live white blood cells. This means that the baby is receiving vital immunities to things in the environment. Formula is made from "dead" materials; hence, there can be no live cells to offer immunological benefits.

Breast milk contains natural antibiotic properties, which make breast milk sterile, whereas formula is not. There is no sure way to ensure that formula is kept sterile. From the time it is manufactured to the time when it is brought home and opened; it cannot be kept fully sterile. This introduces the possibility of bacteria growing in the formula.

Breast milk is also continuously changing to meet the individual needs of the baby, whereas formula remains the same.

Health Benefits

I could create an exhaustive list of studies done on the benefits of breastfeeding, but for now, I will link to a few studies and resources for more information.

One study, titled "The Benefits of Breastfeeding Across the Early Years of Childhood," found that
babies who are breastfed have improved cognitive outcomes and a less chance of obesity at 2 and 4.5 years of age. Babies that were breastfed for at least six months had increased motor scores at nine months of age. (Belfield, and Rashad Kelly)

In 2006, a study published in Pediatrics found that babies who were breastfed exclusively for six months had a decreased risk of pneumonia and respiratory infections. (Chantry, Howard, and Auinger 425-432)

There are also maternal benefits to breastfeeding, such as reduced risk of ovarian and breast cancer.

Here is an extensive list of studies on the benefits of breastfeeding.

Why breastfeeding is important-- infant and maternal benefits

Bonding 

Of course there are ways to bond with a baby without breastfeeding. You can hold or rock your baby, and you can play with and talk to the baby. Yet, a mother who has breastfed knows what the breastfeeding bond is like. There is nothing that can really describe the feeling of seeing your baby content and satisfied after nursing, knowing that you provided your baby with everything he or she needed. You can take a fussy baby and immediately calm him or her by nursing. There is something special about the breastfeeding bond, but perhaps only a breastfeeding mom would understand.

Convenience

Breast milk is continuously being produced, as long as the milk is being removed from the breast. The amount of breast milk a woman has depends on supply and demand. If the baby removes milk from the breast, more will replace it. This means that there is always milk for the baby. There is no mixing formula, heating it up, washing and sterilizing bottles, or anything that goes along with formula feeding. Breast milk is at the perfect temperature and ready to serve, anytime of the day or night.

Cost 

Breast milk is definitely cheaper, since it does not have to be purchased. The mom does need to eat well and keep herself hydrated, but that is something she needs to do anyway. If a woman does not receive financial assistance for purchasing formula, she may spend anywhere from one to two thousand dollars per year on it.



References:

 Belfield, Clive, and Inas Rashad Kelly. "The Benefits of Breastfeeding Across the Early Years of Childhood." National Bureau of Economic Research. (2011): n. page. Web. 30 Dec. 2011. <http://www.nber.org/papers/w16496>. 

 Chantry, Caroline, Cynthia Howard, and Peggy Auinger. "Full Breastfeeding Duration and Associated Decrease in Respiratory Tract Infection in US Children." Pediatrics. 117.2 (2006): 425-432. Web. 30 Dec. 2011. <http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/117/2/425.full?hits=10&FIRSTINDEX=0&FULLTEXT=full+duration&SEARCHID=1&gca=pediatrics%253B117%252F2%252F425&#content-block>.

Sears, . "Comparison of Human Milk and Formula." Dr. Sears. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Dec 2011. <http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/why-breast-best/comparison-human-milk-and-formula>. 

 "What's In Breast Milk?." American Pregnancy. N.p., Oct 2011. Web. 30 Dec 2011. <http://www.americanpregnancy.org/firstyearoflife/whatsinbreastmilk.html>.

A Sleeping Baby Does NOT Always Wake to Eat

I am sure many new or expectant moms have heard the saying, "A sleeping baby will always wake to eat." I want to dispel this myth by relating my own experiences, and explaining how a new mom can determine if her baby is sleeping through feedings.

My third child was born in 2009. She arrived a few weeks early, although it was not early enough to be considered preterm. When we came home from hospital, she immediately fell into a routine, which mainly consisted of sleeping all the time and waking for only brief moments during certain times of the day. She was a very quiet baby and hardly every cried. This was very unusual for me, because my older two were not as laid back and quiet as she was. I had breastfed two babies, nursed through a pregnancy, and tandem nursed. I felt like a pro, and immediately worked on getting a good latch and starting our breastfeeding journey together.

As the days passed, she began to sleep more, and I began to fall apart. I have always had depression and anxiety, as well as some "quirks" or "obsessions" that could be related to OCD. However, during the postpartum period, my mental health issues become even worse. I have had PPOCD, and I will go into more detail about that in a future post. For the sake of this post, I will simply explain it by saying that my OCD was in control of my mind and body, and I was nowhere to be found. I obsessed over everything and anything. My world spiraled out of control, and unfortunately, my baby was affected by it (as were my other children).

So, back to the sleepy baby. She never woke to eat. She may have woken up once or twice a day to eat, but she would sleep nearly all day if I let her. I knew I needed to wake her more. I knew it was my job to make sure she was eating enough, but I failed at doing that. We started visiting the doctor and her weight steadily declined. Her diapers were scarce or full of dark urine and pink-colored crystals (see below). She was dehydrated, and they were ready to diagnose her as failure to thrive. She never cried. She never woke to eat. I was failing my daughter. I was failing to provide her with the nourishment she needed.

I was consumed by my irrational thoughts and feelings, and I had let her sleep through too many feedings. Sometimes, I would try to feed her and she would fall asleep in the middle of the feeding. I tried all the tips; taking a layer of clothes off, stroking her cheek, switching sides, etc. Nothing worked. I can admit, I did not put as much effort into as I should have. The time had come, I had to give her formula. During all of this time, it was like I was in a dream or a trance. Going through the motions, without even really being there. Family members stepped in and starting feeding her by bottle (as did I). She began to gain weight, and the doctors said she was doing much better. 

She continued to sleep more than anything and still had to be woken for feedings. However, things did get better as she got older. Yet, to this day, she is still the only child that sleeps a solid 10 to 12 hours per night. I worked on my own issues and tried to get her back to the breast. At that point, she was about 3 months old, had nipple confusion, and had developed a preference for the bottle. I tried to pump, but it did not work well. Ultimately, she became a formula fed baby.

Babies do not always wake to eat, and for a mom who is also suffering from something like PPD or another type of postpartum mental health disorder, the result can be disastrous. I did not purposely neglect her; if she cried I would go to her. I tried to feed her, but I often let her sleep through the night, because I thought she would wake if she was really hungry. In the end, looking back, I do feel that in some ways I neglected my responsibilities to her. I feel like we missed out on a crucial stage of bonding. I have enjoyed a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with my other babies, and I did not have that with her. I could barely hold her at one point, and we missed out on that way of bonding, as well. I do not think having to switch to formula is the worst possible outcome, but I do feel that we missed out on something special.

I try not to worry too much over what happened, because my worries always turn into obsessions. I do feel guilty, because I did fail her. Now, I try to hug her and tell her I love her. I try to play with her and be there for her when she cries. I try to make up for the mistakes I made, even if I made those mistakes because I was not in the best frame of mind at the time.

So, how can a mom know if her baby is sleeping through feedings? Many moms probably won't need to worry, because some babies seem to nurse around the clock during those first few weeks. However, a sleeping baby does not always wake to eat, so moms should watch for a few important signs that their baby is not getting enough breast milk.

Signs to Look for

Weight gain: This is a big one, but not the only sign to look for. Breastfed babies should be measured on growth charts for breastfed babies, not general growth charts that many pediatricians use. If your baby continues to lose weight after your milk comes in (about 1 to 4 days after birth) then there may be a problem, such as sleeping through feedings or an improper latch. Babies usually regain their birth weight by two weeks after birth (but it may take another week). Breastfed babies usually gain about 5 to 7 ounces per week.

Diapers: This is the biggest clue for a breastfeeding mom to know if her baby is getting enough. Newborn babies should have 5 to 6 wet diapers per day and 3 - 4 dirty (stool) diapers per day.  In the first few days of life, babies will excrete meconium, which will look black, then turn to green or brown. Babies who have 2 - 3 stool diapers per day should have very large stools, not just a small staining. Urine should be pale and odorless. Stool should be yellow by 5 days after birth. Stool diapers may become more infrequent as a baby gets older, and some babies only have a stool diaper once per week by 6 to 8 weeks of age.

Urate Crystals: I referenced pink-colored crystals in my post, which are actually urate crystals. Here is a picture of what it may look like. The baby's diaper may have pink or orange-colored crystals in it, which some parents may think looks like blood. It is caused by overconcentrated urine, and it will usually go away if milk intake in increased. Some parents may notice the crystals in the first few days after birth, but they should not be present once mom's milk comes in--if baby is getting enough.

Number of Feedings: On average, a breastfed baby will nurse anywhere from 8 to 12 times per day. Some babies are more efficient and some need to nurse for comfort, so this number may vary. However, there are signs to check to see if the baby is removing milk from the breast effectively.

Feeding Effectively: You should see your baby suck a few times, then swallow. You may be able to hear your baby swallow throughout the feeding. You may feel let down, which may may feel like a tingling sensation as your baby begins removing milk from the breast. It may take a few minutes into the feeding to feel let down. Your breast should feel lighter and softer after a feeding, but this may change once your baby is older and your milk supply has regulated (about 12 weeks after birth).

Your Baby: Is your baby alert and happy after a feeding? Is your baby meeting milestones? These are good clues that everything is OK, but they are not easy to see in a baby who is very sleepy. 

Waking a Sleepy Baby

If your baby is not getting enough milk and sleeping through feedings, you will need to wake your baby to nurse. It is crucial to nurse often during the first few weeks, so your baby gets enough milk and for you to establish a good supply. Here are some tips for waking a sleepy baby.

• Remove a layer of baby's clothing. 
• Keep your baby close to you, and try lots of skin to skin contact. 
• Offer the breast every two hours. 
• Stroke your baby's cheek, rub his or her back, or tickle his or her foot to encourage your baby to wake up.
• If your baby falls asleep at the breast, try switching sides during the feeding. 
• Change your baby's diaper before the feeding.
• Dab a cool washcloth on your baby's forehead. 
• Give your baby a bath before the feeding.
• Sing and talk to your baby during the feeding. Make eye contact too. 
• Encourage let down by hand expressing or using a pump right before nursing, that way your baby will instantly get milk and may take in more.

If you are are concerned about your baby getting enough milk or sleeping through feedings, please contact a Lactation Consultant or Breastfeeding Counselor as soon as possible. So many pediatricians will suggest supplementing with formula to help the baby gain weight, which may or may not be necessary. Also, introducing artificial nipples and bottles too early can result in nipple confusion or nipple preference.

If you are feeling out of control, anxious, or depressed after your baby is born, there is no shame or guilt in reaching out for help. Do it as soon as possible, so you can start enjoying life with your new baby. Look for a counselor or therapist, ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist, find a support group, ask family and friends for help--do whatever it takes for you to get the help you need. You and your baby deserve it.


References (These sites have lots of valuable information):


Bonyata, Kelly. "Is baby getting enough milk?." Kellymom. N.p., 14 June 2011. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/enough-milk.html>.

Sears, . "Getting Enough Milk?: How to Tell." Ask Dr. Sears. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/faqs/getting-enough-milk-how-tell>.


Smith, Anne. "Waking a Sleepy Baby." Breastfeeding Basics. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Nov 2011. <http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/waking-a-sleepy-baby>.


*Disclaimer* I am not a medical professional. The information I share on this blog is based on my own experiences and through my own research. While I always try to provide accurate, factual information, you should still consult with a professional if you need medical or lactation advice.