I'm not sure about you, but I have heard myself saying some of the strangest things since I became a parent. They may be replies to questions or something I say trying to get my children to not do something. I have browsed through other mommy blogs and read some of the funniest things that moms never thought they would say, so I thought I would start compiling a list of those things you say that you never thought you would or ones that are just odd.
The bathroom is not a water park or swimming pool.
We do not play in the toilet.
Your toys do not belong in the toilet, and no you cannot clean your toys in the toilet and no, your action figures do not want to go for a swim either. (Yes another bathroom one--my children seem to gravitate towards the bathroom as if it is an exciting land ready for exploration.)
Do not lick the floor.
Do not lick the walls.
Do not lick your sister/brother.
Do not lick me.
No, poop is not a good substance to use for creating an abstract art mural on the wall, or the bed, or the floor, or yourself.
Are you pooping? (Yes another poop one, who would have thought so much of my conversations would relate around poop someday.)
Did you wipe your bum? No? Well please go back in the bathroom and take care of that.
We do not play in the garbage can. (or eat out of it. or do anything with it.)
I don't know if butterflies are ticklish, but please do not tickle the butterfly.
The living room is not a jungle gym. My husband usually says that he is not a jungle gym, since the kids are usually climbing all over him.
We don't show people are bottoms.
We don't sit on other people. I don't care if you are an extreme wrestler, we don't sit on someone's face.
No, you cannot see my belly button.
No, not every person wearing a ski mask is a robber. (My son saw a man walking home from work with a ski mask on, it was very cold. He started screaming "hey mommy, look a robber a robber!!" So, maybe ski masks do freak me out a little too, but I knew who the man was, at least I think I did. Maybe we watch the news or Law & Order too much?)
No, there are no Yeti's in this house. (Weird, I know.)
I am sure this list will continue to get longer, as there are sure to be other funny, odd, or weird things I find myself saying every day. Do you have any to add to the list? I would love to read them!