Sunday, April 22, 2012

When You Just Don't Know What to Say

 It isn't often that I don't have some type of comeback or reply to something my children say to me. I often listen to protests and whines, as they try to explain why they can't clean their room, take a shower, or do any chores. I also hear plenty of remarks and comments about why they should be allowed to do something they want.

My oldest son could talk all-day-long, not really about anything important, but just random thoughts that come to his mind. He always has something to say about everything, except of course when you try to have a real conversation with him, because then his head hurts. So, when he wants to do something, like watch a scary movie or play a mature video game, I always have  a good comeback for why he cannot do those things. He needs full explanations and will never settle for a simple "no" or "because I said so." He can keep the conversation going, as he tries to either negotiate his terms or annoy me so much that I finally give in.

We have been trying to limit his exposure to violent movies or video games. He has seen a  few scary movies and played a few scary video games, but we really try to limit what he can watch or play. My oldest has mental health issues that cause him to not always make the best choices, so he definitely doesn't need anything promoting violence in his life. Yet, we can't stop his obsession with guns. We will not let him play with toy guns and we will not let anyone else give him ones as gifts. So, he turns everything he can into a gun--paper, blocks, a pencil, and even his own leg.

Yesterday, my husband brought up a bucket of Lego's for him to play with. All of the other children wanted to play too, even though most of them became bored after a few minutes. I sometimes think my husband enjoys Lego's the most, as he sat and built a house and a ship. Anyway, my son of course, turned his Lego's into a gun.

I heard him upstairs"shooting" everything, so I went up to let him know that we don't play with guns--even pretend ones. He really becomes too obsessed with it, and while I think pretend play is important, it is not OK to run around pretending to shoot your sister, who does not want to play that game.

So, I walked into his room and let him know that he could build so many cool things with Lego's, which is when I saw the ship my husband had built. I tried encouraging him try to build something new and different. He whined, "but mommy, I like to make guns it's fun." "Yes, I know it's fun, but we don't play with guns." His response, "But Mommy--I made this gun out of all primary colors!"

Well, he had me there. It isn't often I don't know what to say, and I really had no idea what to say, except my usual we don't play with guns mantra. My husband and I both laughed a little and my husband replied with something like, "Well at least its educational."

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